Most people have struggled with self confidence at one point or the other in their lives especially if they are faced with a big task or challenge like attending an interview, delivering a presentation or even attempting to start a relationship.
However, lacking self confidence perpetually is a problem that needs to be addressed. Self confidence can be described as a belief that a person has in his or her abilities in spite of imperfections or others belief .Self confidence is vital in most aspects of our lives and confident people are usually more positive. Confident people inspire confidence in others which help them succeed in every sphere of life. Underpinning self confidence is self esteem.
Self esteem is having self worth and self regard believing that you deserve to be treated right, have good things and be happy. In the course of my career, i have met quite a number of people disturbed by this problem.
Some people try to cover up their low self esteem with aggression dealing with people equally skilled or better than them as competition consistently displaying hostility, while others are withdrawn or reserved not because they are introverts but they are not bold enough to be assertive. Another set beat their own drums too loudly seeking attention and always fishing for compliments while feigning modesty.
Whichever category you find yourself you can improve by building your self confidence. I believe the first step in dealing with this issue effectively is:
LABELING IT -Realize you have a problem that needs to be addressed instead of ignoring it and please call it what it is!
BE DETERMINED -How do you put action to your determination? Set goals for yourself. Do not set goals that will discourage you, start with simple goals and increase it as you improve. Those small wins will boost your confidence
DEVELOP OR IMPROVE YOURSELF -This is a major self confidence booster. Enhance your skills and capabilities, learn new skills, read, improve your looks, these increases your opportunities and confidence. Every time i hold a training program for contract staff in any sector, advising them to upgrade their skills usually ends up in their top three post training action plan.
PREPARE -Whatever the tasks or responsibilities before you, prepare adequately, research thoroughly, it helps boost your self confidence in carrying out the task.
ACCEPT YOUR IMPERFECTIONS – I am not encouraging you to throw a pity party for yourself or believe you cannot be better than who you are presently, just acknowledge your flaws and work on them without berating yourself.
IMPROVE YOUR INTERPERSONAL SKILLS -Put in lots of effort here because as you start to interact better with others your confidence grows. You experience acceptance, affirmation, and belonging.
THINK POSITIVELY AND TALK TO YOURSELF – Whenever the negative thoughts associated with low self esteem or confidence floods your mind, consciously replace them with positive options and speak those positive options loud to yourself.
The more confident you are the better you become at discharging your duties and achieving your goals. Self confidence enhances your ability to improve your relationship with people around you. You can be assertive when necessary but also sensitive enough to apologize if required. In the words of Henry Ford “whether you believe that you can or you believe you cannot you are right”
If you need more understanding or coaching on this topic or any other you can attend CREM CLINIC or contact me: yemisi@cremnigeria.org
# Stay Safe
